Word Choice

When my oldest child, my son, was very little he learned how to tilt his head back so that I could wash his hair in the bath without getting water and soap in his eyes.  I would say, "put your head back please."  He understood and he did as he was told and bath time went smoothly for us.  I also used a wash cloth to cover his eyes in case any water did flow over his face.

For my second child, my daughter, it took a lot longer to find the right words.  I would say "put your head back please" and she would not do it.  I would try to gently move her head to tilt to show her what I meant and she would resist.  I would say the same thing and explain I was trying to help keep the water out of her eyes.  To no avail.  She would keep her head straight forward and end up with water in her eyes.  That was consistently the worst part of her bath time - otherwise she loves water and bath time.

I do not remember when or why it came to mind, but at some point I changed the words I used.  I said to her "please look up at me."  And it worked!  She turned her face up and looked at me with her eyes and her head went back.  I could wash her hair and keep the water and soap out of her eyes.  To this day I will catch myself.  I will say "put your head back", she will not move, and then I remember and say, "look up at me" and it works every time.

I do not know why the word choice makes a difference, but it does.  Maybe there is something that your child struggles to follow when you give instructions.  Maybe this simple example will help you - listen to the words you are saying and try and reword it instead of saying the exact same thing and expecting a different result. 

Singing off...these are the words I would say
Gina

If you have noticed that your word choice makes a difference and you have a story to share please do so in the comments!